Muskoka Christmas by Carolyn Miller

Author:Carolyn Miller
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Carolyn Miller

The kitchen was shadowed, the day’s long hours stretching across his heart and wearied brain. Brandi had gone home, Penny had finally settled in a basket in the corner, his dad had fixed both Rose’s front door and James’s truck, but still the whirr of the past few hours refused to go away.

“James?” His mom touched his shoulder. “What’s bothering you?”

He exhaled, lifted his gaze from where he’d propped his head, elbows against his knees as he sat at the table. “What would have happened if I hadn’t arrived then?”

“You mean with Staci?”

The scene from earlier continued to track across his mind. “She was so helpless.” So fragile. And yet still somehow had maintained a sense of humor.

“She’ll be okay,” his mom assured.

Her gaze continued, as steady as any time when she’d had something to say he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear. “What is it, Mom?”

“Do you care about her?”

“You want me to.” He posed this as half question, half statement, and was unsurprised when she nodded.

“Staci is smart, believes as we do, is funny, successful and understands loss. I think you’d make a good match.”

The more time he spent in Staci’s company the more he thought that too. “You could say the same about Brandi,” he pointed out.

“Well, Brandi is a lovely girl, but I don’t think she’d be right for you.”

He agreed, but still felt a perverse need to be contrary. “Regardless, it’s not as simple as that.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t think about a girlfriend. Not when I’m returning to Africa.”

“Are you?” his mother asked gently. “Have you received the letter from the board?”

“Not yet.”

“Do you mean to say you want to return to Africa?”

“Maybe. I don’t know anymore. I know there is still good I can do overseas, but…”

“But not if your heart isn’t in it anymore.” She stroked the back of his head, like she used to do when he and his brothers were young boys. He found the motion soothing. “There is good you can do here, too,” she reminded him.

“I know. But the need there is so much greater.”

“And the need won’t lessen just because you serve, or not.” A beat. “And how can you serve well, if you need strengthening yourself?”

He nodded, aware of the truth of that statement. He knew himself to often wear a coat of affable good-humor, but still the loneliness burned, the depression hovered at the corners of his soul. Since his return to Muskoka Shores he’d felt the brittle edges of his heart start to ease, to find hope. The letter might say he could return to his duties in Africa, but faced with the unrelenting nature of pain and death, would that indeed be wise?

“You need someone who makes you smile, someone who lifts your heart, someone who understands the value and grit of life.”

“And you think Staci does?”

“Yes.”

The confidence in his mother’s answer bolstered his wearied emotions, whilst sparking him to recall something else. He glanced up at her. “Did you tell Staci I’d checked her out?”

“What? No.

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